What a Blast!

By Marlyse Carroll (alias Gabrielle)

As Shelley started writing her letter, she felt excitement and gratitude rising within her. Today was graduation day at INNER PEACE. She was about to receive her Vocational Diploma as a new teacher in meditation, spirituality and wellbeing.

Yet her excitement went beyond the diploma. It had to do with her whole life. Reflecting on the past year, she still found hard to believe that so much change could possibly have happened in just 12 months. And that’s what she wanted to share with her friends.

‘For 20 odd years drugs, alcohol, sex and depression filled my life. I hated myself. In & out of beds, clubs, jobs. Two suicide attempts. Psychiatrists. Antidepressants. One-night stands. More booze, more dope. The pain was unbearable…  One day I started searching on the net, I had no idea what I was looking for. All I knew was I had to find something. And I had to find it now. At 36, I had reached the end of my rope.

Then I came across the INNER PEACE website… and a page jumped out at me: Teacher Training. The course started 2 weeks later. I rang my parents and they agreed to help me out. Thank God for that - as you know, what has happened since then is nothing short of mind blowing.’

Shelley vividly remembered one of the turning points in her journey. It took place during the ‘Journey to the Light’, a seven-day residential workshop that is part of Teacher Training. This retreat is also open to other participants, a fact for which Shelley was grateful, because she met a beautiful man there.

She continued writing.

‘You all know Stephen who shared our ‘Journey to the Light’. Isn’t it amazing that my human soul-mate came into my life on the very same week that I finally embraced the lover within? I found the Real Me, my Self, Light, the essence of who I am. I reawakened a part of my soul that I believed was dead! No wonder I kept searching for Spirit in bottles of gin, and for love in all the wrong places… ‘

Shelley paused as she thought of her journey. With a smile, she recalled the spiritual experiences that had shaken her to her core, progressively leading to sobriety, to emotional healing, to stable feelings of love and peace. And to Stephen.

Click here for more information on 'Journey to the Light'

Her very first experience had taken place during the opening module of Teacher Training. On that long weekend, during a meditation, she had heard a very quiet inner voice whispering “Shelley, trust. Open your heart. Allow me back into your life.

Shelley, be brave, do this work and persevere, this is your way home…”

The young woman went back to her letter.

‘Do you remember all these ‘Who am I’ processes we did in between the more academic modules? Breathwork, Tantra, past-life regressions, shamanic journeys, quantum healing dances, meditations, dyads... Some were pretty weird, at times challenging, but man! how powerful.

I heard voices, I saw things, I worried about my sanity. All these phenomena, the roller-coaster ride of personal growth… Yet at some level I knew that these phenomena were part of the healing process, so different from drug-induced hallucinations.

All the same, thank God for the book “Am I going Mad?” I couldn’t put it down. Because it explained my journey as if it had been written just for me.

Click here for more information on 'Am I Going Mad?'

Anyway, the past is gone. What I have experienced this year is far greater than all the pain and suffering I’d known until then. Love, compassion, forgiveness, fulfilment, confidence, positiveness, strength, understanding, trust are just a few things I now have for myself and others.

At the beginning of our Teacher Training course I used to be so jealous of you, my dearest friends. Jealous because I felt so inadequate. I felt that you had your act together and I didn’t. Most of you were healthy, enjoyed stable relationships, were well educated and my own life was such a mess.

Yet you accepted me, and I am so grateful to you all. I never imagined that, with your help, I would also grow to love myself, be myself and express myself. Let alone become an accredited meditation teacher. I know I couldn’t have done it without you.

And now, just like you, I’m ready to make a positive difference in the world. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

With much, much, much love & light.

Shelley

The new graduate would soon drive to INNER PEACE for the formal closure of her Teacher Training course. She knew the closing ritual was a beginning more than an ending. The beginning of a life that would make a difference for countless others.

“Well,” Shelley thought as she walked towards her car, “they say that there is a good reason for everything. Twenty years of full-time hell and one year of part-time training to become a teacher in meditation, spirituality and wellbeing... What a blast!” And she winked to the sky.

Click here for more information on Teacher Training